I am the only one left. There is no one here. All of the boys are gone. Hannah is gone. Hilary is gone. Alicia Tissue is gone. It is SAD.
Today was graduation. Being in choir and therefore having to sing at both Baccalaureate and Graduation, I had prime seats. :) During Baccalaureate, Josh, Jesse, Bargo, and Brent all sat together and entertained me. Well.... Jesse made faces and watching Brent just made me cry. Knowing that at least most of my boys will be here this summer has kept me sane (as sane as possible anyway). Brent, however, is leaving us for good. It hasn't sunk in yet, I don't think. When we closed with "A Clare Benediction" (one of my favorite pieces), I caught Brent's eye, and lost it. Dr. Bolster (our conductor) lost it too. Everyone was crying.
At the nurses' pinning ceremony this morning, where I saw Angela and Hollee get pinned, Ange and Holls played and sang a song they wrote for the occasion.... absolutely beautiful. Brent and I cried then too. Geez... too much crying.
Today was not only Hollee's graduation day, but also her 22nd birthday. As she walked across the stage to get her diploma this afternoon, the entire choir broke into a rendition of "Happy Birthday" that Hollee will never forget...
Now, I am sitting alone in my dorm room, listening to music. It is so empty and quiet. The part that hurts the most is not only that I can't call the guys and meet them in the lounge to hang out, or go play Mario Kart with them, but the fact that I can never do that again. This is a permanent change. I don't do well with change. I know Jesse, Josh, Jonas, Bargo, Booger, Clay, Alicia, and (of course) Hannah are all gonna be in Berea, but.... it's not the same. I just hope we all get to hang out a lot. Otherwise, I am gonna be uber bored and uber-er sad. These people mean
so much to me.
There are so many awesome people in my life. Not only here in Berea, which if you have been reading our blog, you know a little about, but also at home. Kathryn and Myra, my two bestest buds from home, and my brother, Samuel. They are the bomb. Combined with what I have at home, and what I have here.... I am so lucky.
You know, with all the depression and pain and sadness that has been going on in the past month or so, it makes me realize just how beautiful my life has been. And will be. And is, I suppose. Without the sad stuff, i wouldn't know what happy is. The shadows add depth. At least I hope they do. From where I am right now, I just feel like I'm drowning in them.
But I see the light, and it helps me to remember to breathe.